What kind of things do you share on your social media? Like most people, you probably share your life updates, like when you buy a new car or if you’re at a fantastic party with friends or on an amazing vacation. What if I told you that sharing any of these things on social media could work against you during your divorce?
It’s true. Since social media became mainstream in the late 2000s, content people share online has been used in legal proceedings worldwide—and divorce court is no exception. As an experienced Family Law Attorney with over two decades of experience, I’ve seen firsthand how often someone’s social media activity can unwittingly get them in hot water during their divorce proceedings, actually working against their case.
Even if you aren’t using social media to make disparaging remarks about your ex, what you post online—even on a “private” account—can appear in court and have lasting consequences for the outcome of your divorce. In this blog, I share my perspective on navigating social media wisely during your divorce to avoid some of the unintentional mistakes I’ve seen many people make over the years, ensuring you won’t regret it later.
One of the main reasons I advise my clients to exercise extreme caution when using social media during their divorce is that every post, story, or video shared on any platform creates a paper trail and can serve as evidence in divorce proceedings. This evidence can significantly affect the outcome—and may not always be in your favor.
Even if you aren’t sharing emotional ramblings about your divorce, your social media presence can still impact your case during the process. For instance, if you’re seeking 50/50 custody of your child but are regularly posting about weekend getaways and going out to parties, this creates documented evidence that you may not be suitable for the custody you desire, as it suggests you aren’t often at home and are often engaged in other activities. Even if you would alter your habits upon receiving your desired custody arrangement, these documented activities could sway the judge, ultimately harming your case.
No one is immune to these factors, either. If you glance at any tabloid magazine, there’s usually some celebrity undergoing a messy divorce—and their social media presence is often brought into evidence.
Taking a break from social media is typically considered the best action during a divorce to avoid sharing anything that could jeopardize your case. However, I recognize that in today’s world, taking a complete break from social media may not be feasible for you for various reasons. If you choose to keep your accounts active during your divorce, here are a few best practices:
If you have children old enough to use social media, another best practice is to communicate your expectations regarding what is and isn’t appropriate to share online about your divorce and model that behavior for them. Many of my clients find it beneficial to see a therapist or another trusted third party to help both themselves and their children process their feelings in a healthy way rather than turning to social media. Establishing healthy boundaries with social media will greatly benefit everyone in the long run.
As mentioned, when you’re going through a divorce, there are several things you should avoid posting due to the potential harm it could cause. For instance, if you share that you’ve purchased a new vehicle, your intention may simply be to express your excitement about finally owning your dream car. However, during your divorce proceedings, such posts could be used against you, arguing that you don't need the amount of alimony you're requesting if you can afford a new $65,000 vehicle.
Given how frequently I’ve seen these topics used as evidence against a party in divorce proceedings, I would also advise against sharing anything on social media involving:
It’s important to understand that the goal isn’t to engage in harmful or self-destructive behavior during your free time while simply keeping it off the internet. The goal is to keep the activities you enjoy, which might be completely innocuous, off social media so as not to add fuel to the fire. Say you might enjoy responsibly going out for an after-work cocktail with your co-workers once or twice a week. That in and of itself is not the problem; however, sharing a photo each time you go out could send an unintended message that could negatively impact your proceedings.
The point is that where you may see no harm, opposing counsel may use this information otherwise to persuade a judge. The last thing you want is lasting adverse consequences due to your social media activity.
Finally, just because you may be actively working to keep your digital presence squeaky clean doesn’t mean your ex is doing the same. Often, my clients bring me social media evidence from their ex that they or a loved one or friend has collected. If your ex is sharing content that could be relevant to your divorce, I recommend contacting your attorney. As tempting as it may be to fight back in the comments on a post in which they accuse you of something, instead of leaving that nasty comment or engaging in any action that could undermine your case, it’s best to simply gather evidence, send it to your attorney, and continue to take the high road.
Your divorce is already hard enough—don’t let social media make it even worse. At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, I help my clients maintain their dignity during their divorce—both on and offline. If you’re going through a divorce or considering filing for divorce, please contact my office at (410) 657-2515 or info@CohenLegalTeam.com to learn more about how we can help.
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