Being denied access to your children is one of the most frustrating and heart-wrenching experiences a parent can face. As a family law attorney with over two decades of experience, I've guided many parents through this challenging situation and have seen the anguish it can cause.
While the emotional toll can be overwhelming, strategic action is crucial for protecting your rights and children's well-being. In this blog, I share six steps to help you understand what to do if you are denied access to your children.
Denial of access isn't always as obvious as a co-parent refusing to let you see your children. It can take many subtle forms, from interfering with your phone calls and text messages to creating constant obstacles for scheduled visits. Many parents feel helpless when faced with these barriers to maintaining a relationship with their children, whether the interference is direct or indirect.
Many parents feel helpless when faced with a co-parent who consistently creates obstacles to maintaining a relationship with their children. Whether you have a formal custody agreement or not, being denied time with your children is a serious matter that requires immediate attention.
Documentation becomes your strongest ally if you are facing this situation. Every access denial should be carefully recorded, including specific dates, times, and the circumstances surrounding the denial. Keep thorough communication records with your co-parent and document your consistent attempts to exercise your parenting time. If your co-parent provides reasons for denying access, write these down, along with any witnesses present during these incidents. This documentation can prove invaluable if legal intervention becomes necessary.
Even in the most frustrating situations, how you communicate with your co-parent matters significantly. I often remind clients to communicate as though these messages will be read by a judge because, in some cases, the denied access dispute escalates to legal intervention.
Keep your messages focused on the children and maintain a respectful, professional tone. Written communication, whether through text, email, or a court-approved co-parenting app, clearly records your attempts to maintain your relationship with your children. I recommend saving all correspondence, as these records may become crucial evidence if legal action becomes necessary.
Your legal rights and available options largely depend on whether you have a court order in place. With a court order, denying access constitutes a violation that can lead to contempt proceedings. The courts take these violations seriously, and you may be entitled to make-up time. Repeated violations could result in custody modifications. Even without a formal order, you still have parental rights, but you'll need to act swiftly to establish and protect them through the legal system.
Research consistently shows that, except in certain cases such as abuse or neglect, children benefit from maintaining relationships with both parents. However, when one parent interferes with these relationships, it can have lasting adverse effects on the children's emotional well-being. This is why maintaining your children's emotional health must remain a top priority if you are being denied access to your child.
When you can spend time with your child, I strongly recommend against speaking negatively about their other parent, as this only creates more stress, friction, and confusion for them. Instead, focus on maintaining normal routines during your time together and continue making consistent attempts at contact. Another wise move that I often recommend is involving a family therapist. While children are often more resilient than we give them credit for, these situations can be incredibly stressful and dysregulating for them. A family therapist can help them healthily share their emotions and protect their well-being.
When informal resolution attempts fail, several legal options exist. An emergency custody motion may be appropriate in situations requiring immediate intervention, such as when you believe your children are in danger or when denial of access is sudden and complete. If you have a court order and your co-parent violates it, filing for contempt can help enforce your rights and potentially lead to make-up time. In cases of persistent access denial, a modification of the existing custody arrangement might be warranted, especially if it demonstrates an unwillingness to support the children's relationship with both parents.
While being denied access to your children is painful, you're not powerless. The key is to act swiftly while remaining strategic and child-focused. Although the legal process might feel slow, taking the proper steps now can help protect your rights and relationship with your children. With proper documentation, legal guidance, and a focus on your children's best interests, you can work toward resolving access issues and maintaining your relationships with your children.
At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, I am committed to helping parents navigate these challenging situations. If you're experiencing denied access to your children, please contact my office at (410) 657-2515 or info@CohenLegalTeam.com to get started. We are here to help!
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With over 20 years of experience, Kerri Cohen, a seasoned family law attorney, offers expert guidance to help you navigate this challenging process.