Overall, the divorce rate in Maryland is on the decline, down 1.7% in 2020, with a notable exception - couples over the age of 50 and/or who have been married 20 or more years – these are often referred to as “grey divorces.” For these couples, the rate of divorce has seen a steady and significant increase. A recent study in the Journal of Gerontology revealed that one in four people undergoing a divorce are over the age of 50, and of those, over half involved marriages of 20 years or more. Much of this increase can be attributed to changing public mores and a growing willingness to view divorce as an acceptable means to end an unhappy marriage. Stated simply, the stigma once associated with divorce is no longer keeping older couples from seeking an end to their marriage.
The studies and statistics seem to be accurate. At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, we specialize in divorce and related family law proceedings, and our practice has seen a steady rise in the number of clients being represented in “grey divorces”. In the last few years, almost half of our new divorce cases involve clients who fall into this category. Some of the common questions we are routinely asked about are:
a). How can I get out of this marriage without detrimentally affecting the rest of my family? b). How does the divorce process work for older people? c). What is the financial impact of divorce and how can it be minimized? And d). What happens next?
These are all legitimate and relevant questions, and at the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, we understand that every case is different and that it is important for your attorney to provide you with legal advice and services based on your individual situation and needs. In the next few sections, however, we hope you will find some helpful generalizations that will assist you in better understanding the process.
Obviously, divorce is difficult for anyone at any age, but a “grey divorce” has broad ramifications that can impact you and the other members of your family financially and emotionally. We often suggest, that in addition to your attorney, you have a strong supportive team supporting you throughout this process, including a knowledgeable, and trustworthy financial advisor/accountant. At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, we are experienced in working with financial advisors to ensure that you are making well-informed financial decisions, getting the support you need and doing what is best for you and your family. Knowing that you have health insurance or that your estate plan for your children or grandchildren is in order is a critical part of the process.
Understanding the divorce process is important should you find yourself in a situation where either you or your spouse wish to end your marriage. In Maryland, civil divorce actions are handled in the Circuit Court for the County/City where you or your spouse reside (religious divorces such as Ghets and religious annulments are outside the scope of this article and are matters handled by your respective clergy). The divorce process can be relatively simple and amicable or complex and heated. That will depend on all of the parties involved. If you are able to reach a written agreement with your spouse determining the distribution of assets, and financial support, if any, and address any other matters impacted by the dissolution of your marriage, it should be relatively smooth sailing. However, what happens when one spouse feels completely blindsided and does not agree to the separation and/or divorce? Typically, when one spouse pushes back, the process becomes more complicated, takes longer to complete, and is more costly to both sides. At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, we understand these issues and help our clients achieve the best possible resolution based on their individual circumstances and desired outcomes.
The financial impact of a “grey divorce” can be serious for both parties after a lengthy marriage. There may be significant assets acquired during the marriage, including retirement and/or pension benefits. It is possible that during the marriage, one spouse was responsible for controlling all of the finances, leaving the other spouse in the dark. There may be conflict over the concept of sharing “their” retirement after years of working if the other spouse did not work or did not contribute financially to the family. What happens if one spouse is significantly younger and still working and the other is already retired? What if the primary source of income is from retirement funds or a pension? What about Social Security benefits or life insurance? It is often the case that one spouse has difficulty accepting that in Maryland, everything acquired during the marriage is presumptively marital property. The only exceptions to that rule are: (1) if you have an agreement (pre-nuptial, postnuptial) to determine the division of property upon divorce, (2) if the property was inherited, (3) or if the property was a gift from a third party (must be traceable to one of those sources).
In Maryland, the Circuit Courts are courts of equity, which means that there is no automatic 50/50 split of marital property (unlike Community-Property States where everything gets divided equally and that’s it). The Judges in Maryland will decide each case by analyzing many factors to determine what is fair and equitable. On occasion, this could be 50/50, but it could also be any other percentage the Court determines is appropriate. The Judge’s ultimate determination concerning monetary issues, including the division of marital property, and awarding spousal support will be based on the following factors:
In the end, this can be a long process and leave many exhausted, regardless of what side they are on. It is important to remember that should you or your spouse die prior to your “grey divorce” is finalized, absent a written agreement, you will still be considered married and the surviving spouse will be entitled to all of the marital property. However, some grey divorces end in very peaceful settlements where divorced couples can even continue to care for their grandchildren and/or attend family special events together, despite the ending of their marriage.
The best advice is to choose an attorney who will listen to your desires, seek resources for the best outcome, as well as advocate for the best possible outcome. At the Law Offices of Kerri Cohen, that is what we do best, and our client’s priorities are our priority. Feel free to call to set up a consultation with an attorney to discuss the details of your specific situation.
We are here to help!